Getting Teens Ready For The Real World
In 4 short months my oldest child will officially become a teenager and that scares me.
Am I ready to be a mother of a teenager? Is he ready to become well rounded and caring teen?
I tried to do my best to prepare the both of us for this day, but mother is never ready to let go.
Teenage years bring whole new responsibilities and learning. You have 5 “short” years to prepare your child for the real world. You want them to be able to take care of them-self, to have respect for the opposite sex, be good with their money, work hard and have good work ethics. Most of all you want them to be proud of where they came from and to represent your values.
To make sure your teen is ready to conquer the world you need to help him/her out in this while keeping your sanity and dealing with their ranging hormones and ever changing attitudes.
As parents we need to stand back and let them become independent and allow them to gain the life skills they will need to live a fulfilling life and not to become a burden on others.
There is few things we can help them with:
- Teach them how to cook a meal – let them help you in the kitchen, show them what is required to prepare a healthy family dinner. Give them a chance to cook for you. Make them plan a complete meal and take them grocery shopping.
- Teach them how to do their own laundry - they need to know the basic of how to separate their dirty laundry, how to run the washing machine, how much laundry detergent to use. Then move onto the dryer part and of course folding it and putting it away. Step back and no matter how much you want to step in and take over….DON’T.
- Teach them that asking for help is alright. We are not perfect and all of us need help on occasion. Make sure that your teen knows that they can come to you or somebody you trust at any time. I didn’t say somebody THEY think they can trust because the person they trust you might not, they are teenagers after all.
- Let them earn their own money no matter how small the paycheck is. Just a few hours a week will teach them a sense of responsibility, respect and work habits. If they don’t take their job seriously they will lose it and maybe they will learn some humility along the way.
- Teach them how to save – Make sure that they put away a part of their paycheck for something they really want. Have a talk with them and explain how credit cards work. It’s amazing how many teens don’t have a clue about credit and living on borrowed money because the parents don’t want to talk about it.
- Teach them about respecting the opposite sex. How is your relationship with your partner? Children are most likely to follow in their parents foot steps. They practice what they see at home.
- Teach them manners – children are never too young to learn the proper etiquette. Most teens have the Thank you and Please pretty well down, but how about to be the first to acknowledge a person older then yourself by proper greeting. Taking the hat off when entering into a room. Holding the door open for girls or people older then yourself. Not talking on the phone or texting while having a conversation face to face. Personally thanking long distance relatives for gifts by phone or a card.
- Teach them to be humble. Let them see that the world doesn’t revolve around them. That it’s better giving then receiving. Get them involved in a charity work of their choice and don’t be afraid of letting them see the heartbreak of the “real” world.
- Teach them some Street Smarts. Talk to them openly about dangerous situations, about scams, about safety. Let them see what taking one drug from one person can do to them. Tell them how many people died just because they decided to take a ride from a drunk driver. Let them know that even hanging around with a bad crowd can destroy their life.
- BE THERE FOR THEM, LISTEN BEFORE YOU JUDGE AND LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY.
I am not an expert on child or teen behaviour by any means. I am just a mom who loves her kids and these are few things that I picked up over the years listening, reading, watching and observing.
About The Author
Bibiana Bailey was born and raised in Slovakia. She received her culinary training and degree in Hospitality, Travel and Tourism from Hotel Academy in Piestany, Slovakia. She lives in British Columbia with her husband and two sons one of which is type 1 diabetic. She is the founder and publisher of Free Guide For Busy Moms – an online site that offers tips, ideas, budget friendly recipes and more to other moms or others in general.
For more of her articles visit her at Free Guide For Busy Moms or Gourmet Meals For Less
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In 3rd grade, my sons start learning how to make box brownies. In sixth grade, they start with homemade cakes. My second son will be a great griller, but definitely not a baker – reading directions is not his forte! LOL. My second son has been doing his own laundry since 6th grade and my 3rd just started this year (freshman). We’ve hit all your marks, taught it all – some sticks really well – some needs repetition, repetition, repetition!
I think you’d enjoy my post: Ode to the Sock Scarf: How like a 14 year old you are:
http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/ode-to-the-sock-scarf-how-like-a-14-year-old-you-are-or-the-sock-scarf-prayer/
Great list–I am printing it and saving it for down the road!
Stopping by from SITS
Great list! I have two kids and they are thankfully through the teen years. Looking back, I must say that stage wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Teaching them about alcohol and drugs is also hugely important. My husband and I always let them know that we did not approve of them using either, but, if they ever did, driving was totally not an option. We told them that if they ever needed a ride, regardless of the “condition” they were in, we would pick them up-NO questions asked-No discussion about their behavior the next day-No trouble. If you have young kids this probably sounds insane. When you have teenagers that have to live in the real world with peer pressure and curiosity about what “everyone else” is doing, your perspective changes. When you read the statistics about teen drinking and driving you have to make a plan. Btw there is an incredible program in California put on by the CHP for high school juniors and seniors called, Every 20 Minutes. Look it up! It is fabulous!! God bless and enjoy this wonderful journey of parenting!!!
What a great list. Very good advice. Wise for sure! : ) Good luck to your soon to be teen!
My teenager is trying to kill me with her new found drivers ed privilages.
Am I scared?
Lets just say my spirituality has taken a whole new twist!
And does grilled cheese count as a meal?
She seems to be best at that so far!
I can’t even BELIEVE I have to do this FOUR more times.
I will need to be medicated, I should think.
Have a wonderful Wednesday.
My youngest will become a teen in three short months and then I’ll have four teens! These are excellent points. The time goes by so fast.
I definitely feel for you, i have a while before that happens here, but i am not looking forward to it!
One trend I’ve noticed (as have many of my friends who high school teachers and even college professors) is that today’s teens are far too dependent on their parents (or maybe their parents are far too overprotective). It’s great that you are teaching your teens how to fend for themselves.
This could not have come at a better time. I have a couple of teens and a preteen. I know. Feel badly for me please. Tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. We’re dealing with our 16 year old – not doing well in school AT ALL…and did some other things that I won’t go on about here but we’re in disagreement as to whether he should get the Christmas we’d like to give him (gifts) or if we should scale it back in relation to his behavior and grades. One side thinks he should get a new pair of sneakers – I won’t even tell you the $, video games, a coat and some clothes. The other side thinks he should get a coat and an outfit. Done. Sigh. No solution on that one. Would you like a few kids? Can we rotate?
Popping in from SITS!
xx
Cristina
Hi there! Stopping by from SITS. You have some great advice that I’ll need in a few years. Have a great day!
This is a great post. My oldest became a teenager two weeks ago. I feel completely unprepared for this new, strange journey we are on. All I can do is my best, a lot of praying, and things will turn out okay.
Good luck with your own teenager!
I especially agree with number 6. I think boys/young men these days are so bombarded with unrealistic images of women that they think these are the norm.
I think my kids are really ready for the real world..I mean they are already 17 and 21, I guess they better be..They started working at 14 and 16 and also babysat before then..they were very responsible in that area.. but they do have a hard time with gadgets and electronics..they lose or break them often..that drives me nuts because they are so expensive..although I dont replace them for them ..i hate to see money go out the window..if you know what I mean..they need to get more aware of surroundings..I mean they have left phones at restaurants, dropped them in toilets, dropped and cracked them, had them stolen…the list is endless…Oh well not my problem I guess